Rob's bio for the Woe Betide release

In my capacity as THE New Christs' liaison officer, it is my pleasure to advise that their latest compact disc release, Woe Betide, has hit the stores and that several soon- to-be-announced shows in Sydney and other eastern capitals will follow in its wake.

Slated for release in continental Europe, where previous line-ups twice toured to rapturous acclaim, and Canada, the seven track Woe Betide is sure to re-acquaint long-serving (long suffering?) fans with THE New Christs' perennial concerns, most notably: the world as a hopeless place where virtually everything is shit, people in particular.

Concerns universal, obscure, often fathomless; the same concerns expressed in earlier incendiary classics such as their apocalyptic rant, Born Out Of Time; the philosophically challenged snarl of Circus Of Sour; the plaintive self-deception of Love's Underground; the gloriously disaffected Burning Of Rome - the last three featuring on their glowering triumph, Distemper - and their pitiless anthem, Pedestal.

Those hitherto unfamiliar with THE New Christs' lineage have only themselves, their parents, or the boys' understaffed publicity-machine to blame, for soon, lack of airplay withstanding, they too shall feel the pull of THE New Christs' inexorable undertow.

Have I mentioned yet, the change from within?
After exhaustive auditioning, the boys have enlisted the services of guitar player Mark Wilkinson, late of The Lime Spiders and other outfits of note;
Mark getting the nod via some stirringly committed performances. He's in there with THE New Christs' regulars: drummer Peter "The Man With No Friends At All" Kelly, Christian "Don't Tell Them I'm French" Houllemare on bass; the much-maligned Tony "The Hound" Harper on what appears to be a different guitar every week; and Rob Younger, who insists it's singing that he is doing.

Newcomer that he is, the affable Mark wasn't available for the Woe Betide sessions but his guitar-playing prowess and blossoming prolificacy as a songsmith should prove invaluable comes the time for THE New Christs to enter the recording studio and lay down tracks for their next project, the album they hope will carry them and their concerns all over the planet.
For THE New Christs are possessed of a vision, a vision fuelled by a desire to confront the future as past incarnations have done, and cash in on their groundwork if possible.

I am sure THE New Christs' , buoyed by hope anew, and steeled by an abundance of what they say is "just healthy cynicism", will carry all before them.

So there it is - the emphasis is on "what's new". And why not?
History is detestable: it's spurious lessons reflecting the murder of truth; a tableaux of distortion; it's tawdry pages populated by a moribund humankind.
Bring on the future, I say; still more people to be sure, but alive with fresh hatreds, the stench of prejudice, and an ever-deepening love of money. It's the stuff of dreams, or songs. THE New Christs' - check them out. You could do a lot worse.

Roofrack Simpson
Media Liaison Officer